“I realize that you grew up in an environment where if you weren’t the best, the sweetest, the quitesential good girl then you wouldn’t find worth. So i can understand why these things define you. you were mature because you had no other choice. you weren’t really living your own life. you were playing a role that you conditioned to play by your upbringing. it was you but it wasn’t rigid.. too perfect.
So yes, I know “young you” probably thought she had it all figured out and maybe even convinced herself so. But you can’t gain wisdom like that.. you have to earn it. Exploring every option, every facet of your personality before deciding what is truly you.
obviously there are people you care about that you don’t want to disappoint. I understand. in the end, everyone is allowed the prerogative to control what choices they make as long as they take the responsibility for whatever ensues. So just stop, trying to keep yourself in this perfect box. wander. explore. deviate. it’s only then that you can form yourself; free from the preconstructed notions of others’ projections onto you, of who they wish you were/would like you to be.
you’re my best friend. i love you not because you’re perfect, nor because you are a good girl at heart, but because you’re YOU… constantly striving to be better than your best (& that’s something that hasn’t changed since we were younger).”
oh, my heart <3
thanks to the most insightful woman i know, she challenges me to embrace it. it’s difficult for me to accept parts of who i’ve become in fear of realizing what i’m not anymore. she re-iterated how important it is to think about myself and follow my happiness. after all, i would not have achieved so many things this new year had i not. she still knows my inner self better than anyone i know. super blessed for my best friend.
despite being back to reality & keeping grounded, i still feel like i’m on cloud 9. :)
