My First Boyf.

DATED MARCH 5, 2009

to the first boy that has captured my heart, batholome jessethius amadius de guadalupe III johnson vern batucan dayondon, my first love,

since i was younger, i have prided myself to be a really good person and aimed for almost perfection. the past two years have made me realize that i am nothing more than an average, teenage girl; learning from new experiences and making many mistakes. i found out that i am more impatient, rude, illogical, emotional, and immature than i could have ever imagined (especially to the one boy i really care most about). regardless of our bad and some-willing-to-forget moments, I, too, have had the best and most wonderful two years of my life. and for that, i thank you (for standing by me through thick and thin, for withstanding the consecutive punches i threw at you, and for loving me wholeheartedly).you have taught me more than any teacher or friend about living life and taking risks (i do listen more than you think). 

please forgive me for all of the heartaches that i have caused you the past two years. the truth of the matter is, you have mastered being the boyfriend and i felt like i couldn’t be "your perfect girlfriend". the thing is, you were right about many things. i put all the situations on myself… most fights (dara’s house, valentines day, the incident) … and my inability to be understanding and compassionate to your feelings hindered our relationship. i couldn’t take it anymore; for your and my sake. there is soooooo much more for me to still learn. please know that you have been amazing, loving, and caring. any girl is lucky to have you but, of course, i only want you to have the best (one that will treat you the way that you deserve).
thank you for being my first everything.

i couldn’t have asked for anyone to share this experience with but you. i do not regret anything that we have done. thank you for holding my hand through this whole experience, i will cherish everything we had forever and forever. i promise. but as for right now, i will have to learn to stand by myself again.

with true love, 
the girl who will always have a piece of you in her heart,
boots

FAST FORWARD 3 YEARS LATER:

him: you know how we talked about how we dated each other at the wrong time... well if we switch that to present timeline, hypothetically speaking, i don't think i'd have a chance with you.
i'd like to think that you're this super nerd and in a group of nerds you're the hottest, so all the nerds love you but you don't like any of them. but you have this newfound confidence that you never had before. it's kinda sexy... & intimidating
me: i still am the same girl but adding a little bit more sass in me
him: danng, so i dated the boring you. haha, but i really enjoyed it so i think that makes me boring. :P

When it ended, I was naive to tell him that I wanted to be friends with him still. He, being more experienced than I, mentioned how it never works out that way. 3 years later, more grown up and mature, I am happy to have proven him wrong; being more open to talk about the past. Despite our individual growth and changes, the one thing that's remained the same is the level of respect & support for each other. I have nothing but great things to say about him. He always and still makes me laugh and was always so very good to me. Even with the necessary silent treatment and time apart, I know that I'm able to go to him if I ever needed anything. The girl he ends up choosing to be with will be extremely lucky. 

I'm at such peace knowing that he and I are mutually civil with each other. Personally, I think we dated at the perfect time because I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful person to enjoy all my firsts and that part of my life with.